The Surf Sounds

Yesterday I got to hear an everyday miracle. It's true, it happens every day, all over the world, to all kinds of women.

At first I couldn't hear anything. I was holding my breath so I wouldn't miss anything. But there was nothing but a sound like the ocean echoing in the pink hollow of a conch shell. I wondered if there would be anything to hear, momentarily doubting my surety of the past two months.

Then suddenly, it was there. Woosh woosh woosh. Woosh woosh woosh.

My breath caught in my chest and tears sprung to my eyes, stinging them and doubling my vision. It was real. It was the sound of my baby's heartbeat. My baby. I'd been thinking of it as "the baby." Now it was "my baby."

How could this be happening to me? Will I be good enough to take care of something so important? What if I fail, what if I make mistakes? Nothing else in the entire world seems important at all anymore. Only my baby, keeping him or her safe, healthy and happy. I've never had this kind of single-mindedness, and it scares me. But fear keeps you on your toes, right? It's like performing. If you're not nervous, you won't be giving it your all!